Paws for Thought

Over the years I have come across numerous stories from pupils that have made me chortle and not always for the right reason. A few years back I thought I ought start recording some of the real gems. Searching through them I selected a few that relate to the keeping of pets, and which I thought warranted sharing with a wider audience:

‘ My granddad has a dog called Bruce, he is very old and sometimes he has to wear a lampshade… he smells but you can’t hear it.

‘We have five dogs, two cats, two budgies, two russian hamsters, a rabbit, a lizard, a rat, three goldfish and four mice.  I want to have a stick-insect but Dad says we haven’t got the space.’

‘ Our dog is Russian she is called Olga she came from Skegness.’

‘Polo is a Jack Russell he has three legs because one of them at the back fell off when he ran into a car. He doesn’t mind now.’

 ‘Greta is our greyhound when she lies down she runs in her sleep because she thinks she is chasing rabbits.’

On occasions I have asked my students to tell me why they would like to have a dog and what sort of dog would they would prefer to own. Amongst their answers have been the following:

‘ I would like a pet with short legs because we like in a bungalow.’

I would like a dog that can play football with me when my friend can’t go out because he has lost points at school for fighting again. If he could be in goal that is best.


Topliss Family Dog Church Gresley c.1920



We had a big dog to stop bad men robbing our house….but she had a bad eye and then she died.

I would like a little dog but not one that bites me.

I like those german dogs that sound like rotten they would guard my house.

I would like a pink cat

I like the cats with squashed faces.

I like big hairy dogs that have fur that can be cut off to make brushes to paint walls. (Old English Sheepdog?)

On another occasion I asked the kids, if they were pets what would life be like for them. These are just a few ideas:

 I would like to run and chase birds but I would not kill them because I do not like eating bird.

I think it would be good to be a pet in a big house if I could sleep on a proper bed and not in the utility room with the washing machine on at night.

If it was cold and wet or snowed I would not want to go outside to do a wee and poo.

I once asked my class, why is your dog the best dog in the world? These were some of the more humorous responses.

He isn’t.

My dog is the best dog in the world because he is the best in the world.

Robbie can bite his tail and roll over hundred of times. He watches TV …and when the Simpsons is on he howls. He sometimes pukes up on the rug which is bad.

Our dog Sheba is the best dog in the world because she is part of our family and is just the same age as my brother. She is better than my brother because she doesn’t argue or break my things and is never mean.

When I spoke to my wife about collecting together these doggy tales she sought out one of her own school books in which she had recorded some of her memories of her own pet dog, Tina.

We went to see a man about buying a dog. My mum said to the man we want a dog that doesn’t smell, doesn’t shed hairs, doesn’t bark and doesn’t bite. The man said we would be best getting a goldfish. But we didn’t. We got Tina and she is a dachshund.

She is very clever and when Aunt Jane comes to see us Tina starts barking before the bus comes round the corner. She doesn’t like when the letters come in the postbox but she likes spaghetti hoops. We have to give her cat food because she makes smells when she eats dogfood.